Jassma'ray Johnson — Black Lives of DSM

“YoU HAVE TO FIND LOVE IN THE FIGHT…THE LOVE IN RESILIENCY.”
JASSMA’RAY

"My sister and I made a commitment that our past wouldn't define us. We grew up experiencing a lot of physical and mental pain. As a child, I normalized that pain - it was all I knew. Being Black at school was hard. Kids made fun of my hair and the clothing I wore. Even though it wasn’t the best experience, it was a safe place where we were always fed - we never knew what was waiting at home.

After bouncing between apartments, we moved to 17th Street. It was one of the first places that felt stable in my life. We lived around people who looked like me and celebrated the same things we did. There was a green electrical box at the end of the driveway. That box became my safe place at home. My neighborhood friends and I created our own world at that green box. We would meet there every day - after school and on the weekends. It’s where we came together to escape whatever we were going through individually. It was a safe space to talk about our experiences and the troubles that were bothering us. It’s where we encouraged, loved, and respected each other. A place to express ourselves. We would sing, dance, share music, and just be young. It’s where I learned about culture, weaves, and my natural black hair. It’s where I was encouraged to express myself. I started writing. I posted them anonymously on the internet and they would go viral. With my parents not around much, I found love in those experiences with friends who were like family at the green box. Multiple times the landlords tried to block off the box, but we kept taking over and continued to occupy that space. To them we were just a bunch of kids, but to us, it was more than just a box. It was my first true outlet. I made it through because of the support that came from the experiences and conversations at the box. I felt accepted and included. It was our version of therapy.

Eventually, we were forced to move. No longer having the same escape, I started writing more often to navigate through my emotions. As a sophomore, my sister introduced me to @movement515 I learned to turn my stories and writings into poetry and built up the courage to perform. The art of poetry became my therapy and still is today. Although we grew out of that environment with no excuses, it’s my daily motivation. I have to do more than just ‘make it out’ - be better than what I came from. To me, being Black is to be resilient. That green box and what it stood for helped remind me of that every day. Resiliency is engraved in me; from generational trauma that Black people have endured. We have always found a way; a light. You have to find the love in the fight - the love in resiliency. My half-brothers remind me of us when we were that age. I want to be their light. Expose them to a world outside of the one we knew too well - show them what stability looks like - find outlets of healing. Just like that green box and poetry did for me. ⠀

A lot of my family is still stuck. But, my sister filled voids in my foundation. She exposed me to Movement 515, Urban Leadership, my first protest, edited my first poem; she paved the way for me. Many rough moments I experienced, she was there for them. We've shown our family the work it takes to get on your feet. It’s now on them to do better and to break the cycle.

I’m known in my network and my community for my energy that I bring into spaces; they always feel it. My energy is what inspires and sparks other people. It’s what sets the tone and the mood for what I do in the community and what others do. Even if something isn’t for me, if I come in with the right energy it can change the whole atmosphere of people and how they feel and react to things.

After grad school, I want to start my own program to expose kids to the positive impact that creative outlet can have at a younger age. I’ve had to unlearn many things that I wasn’t naturally exposed to. I also know mental health should be addressed. It’s important to have therapists in schools for kids who don’t know how to deal with what is going on at home. Therapy itself, is also whitewashed. It’s not just for the rich or the wealthy. It’s an outlet to heal.

I also hope to bring entrepreneurship into schools as early as 8th grade. I started my lip gloss business from the ground up. Imagine if someone would’ve invested a little time into me when I started mixing kool-aid and Vaseline on my stove top as a middle schooler. I don’t think it’s ever to early to give kids the idea that they can own their own.

I want others to see my color, but to be looked at as human. I’m not a star athlete, lawyer, or life-saving nurse who juggles 3 kids at home. We don’t have to be super humans to have equal space. Why can’t we be here, be Black, and exist like everyone else?